decomposition

I am learning to show up even when I want to stay home.
I am learning that wants can’t always be trusted
but often intuition can.
I am learning that I don’t need to know how it will turn out
in order to make a make a move.
I am learning that no one else knows either.
I am learning that my neighbors hunger for a hello as much as I do.
I am learning that the feel of walking inside this body may never fit
and still, I get to walk in it exactly as it is.
I am learning that moving as a ghost can re-animate a life.
I am learning to air up the tires and check the oil.
I am learning to find the Yes inside the No.
I am learning that the “I” who begins all my sentences has something to say
that eclipses “I.”
I am learning that it does indeed pay to take the stairs.
I am learning that there are far worse fates than having no one to share the bed.
I am learning that control never stays in my hands long enough to force my will,
only long enough to burn.
I am learning that sorrow eventually returns to the soil
to feed what’s been waiting to grow.

Image: Becky Grismer, “Roots”

Poem inspired by Amy Lloyd’s “i am learning”