Happy 100 Days: 84

Some days, happy is not a feeling. It is taking a blowtorch to the invasive species. It is burning off the tangle that has choked off the native leaf. Remember those parasitic cuttings you pushed into your soil when you did not know better? Remember when the blossoms made you stupid and the fragrance made you swoon?
Remember the beautiful lie?
Those fine tendrils have twisted into steel coils. You see now, can’t you? How it happens?
Your folly then can be forgiven. Your devotion now cannot.
Some days, happy is not a bouquet. Some days, it is the making way.
It is the slash and burn.
And so, the purge.
(In the absence of a conflagration, an industrial shredder will do.)
Some days, happy is not a state of being. It is a trowel and a bucket of wet cement. It is an intention. A slog, even.
Some days, you are down below the frost line, down at the foundation only just dug, cramming blocks against the cold mud and plastering them into place. You are following the plumb line. You haven’t seen the sun in days.
You do not need to look up. It is still there. Trust me. It will be there again. But now, you are building a floor. You are making your shelter. You are climbing towards the sky.
Some days, happy is not.
And yet, you still find a box full of tools right there at your feet, and your hands are still at work, and the ground still holds.
Some days, the evidence suggests otherwise. But yes. The ground holds.

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